The Power of Naming: A Journey of Healing After Trauma

As a trauma therapist, I often witness the ways in which language can both heal and harm, particularly for those who have experienced trauma. Words are sometimes avoided, feared, or even loathed, because they represent something too painful to confront. Reclaiming the power to name our experiences is an essential part of the healing process, especially after trauma like sexual assault.

The Unspeakable Reality of Trauma

The word "rape" is not one that we typically encounter in casual conversation. For many, it feels like a distant concept, something that happens in the shadows, far removed from their everyday lives. But for survivors, this word can take on a whole new meaning. It transforms into a symbol of pain, fear, and violation—a landmine in the landscape of their mind.

This transformation of language is common after trauma. A word that once held little significance can become loaded with emotion, triggering visceral reactions that seem impossible to control. After sexual assault, survivors may find themselves unable to even utter the word "rape" because to say it out loud is an undeniable acknowledgement that it happened. To admit this truth is not only painful, but also terrifying. It means confronting the reality that something has been taken, something sacred has been violated. The very act of naming it feels like giving it more power.

But this avoidance, while protective in the short term, can become a barrier to healing. When we are unable to name our experiences, we are, in essence, unable to fully face them. Without naming the trauma, it lingers in the shadows, unchecked and unchallenged, continuing to exert its influence over our lives.
 

The Healing Power of Naming

For many survivors, the journey to healing begins with a simple yet profound act: speaking the truth. In this case, the ability to name the trauma, or to say the word "rape" without being consumed by panic or fear, is not just about vocalizing the word; it is about reclaiming the power that trauma has taken away. Naming the trauma of sexual violence is the act of recognizing the full scope of its impact and allows the survivor to begin to understand the damage done not only to their body but to their spirit, their sense of self, and their connection to the world around them.

It’s important to note that this process of naming is not a one-time event. It is a journey that requires courage, vulnerability, and patience. Survivors may start by whispering the word to themselves in private, gradually working up to saying it out loud in therapy or to trusted loved ones. Each time the word is spoken, its power over them diminishes slightly. Each utterance is an act of defiance against the shame and silence that trauma so often demands.
 

Self-Administered Exposure Therapy

The process of speaking the unspeakable can be likened to a form of exposure therapy. In traditional exposure therapy, individuals are gradually exposed to the source of their fear in a controlled and safe environment, allowing them to build resilience and reduce their anxiety over time. Similarly, for survivors of sexual assault, the deliberate choice to say the word "rape" or to verbally acknowledge their assault out loud, is a form of exposure to the trauma itself.

By choosing to speak the reality of their experience, survivors are exposing themselves to the painful emotions that accompany it, but in a way that feels manageable. Over time, this exposure allows them to regain control over the language of their experience and, by extension, over their trauma. They are no longer at the mercy of a single word or the memories it holds. Instead, they begin to rewrite the narrative, reclaiming their experience as their own. 
 

Unpacking Shame: A Cultural Context

One of the most profound aspects of healing from sexual trauma is the recognition that much of the shame associated with the experience is not the survivor’s own. It is, in fact, a product of the culture we live in—a culture that has historically shamed and silenced survivors of sexual violence. This is often referred to as "rape culture," a social environment in which sexual violence is normalized, minimized, or even excused.

In rape culture, survivors are often made to feel as though they are responsible for the violence inflicted upon them. They are bombarded with messages that suggest they should have done something differently, that they somehow "invited" the assault, or that their worth has been diminished because of what happened to them. This internalized shame can be crippling, preventing survivors from seeking help or speaking out about their experiences.

However, by naming the trauma and speaking their truth, survivors begin to challenge this narrative. They start to see the shame for what it is—a product of a broken culture, not a reflection of their worth. They recognize that they did not ask for this experience, and they should not bear the burden of shame. Instead, they can define their own experience in a way that feels authentic and empowering.
 

Reclaiming the Power to Define

One of the most powerful realizations in the healing process is the recognition that the survivor has the power to define their own experience. The words they choose to describe what happened to them are their choice and theirs alone. For some, the word "victim" may feel accurate, reflecting the reality that something was taken from them against their will. For others, the word "survivor" may feel more empowering, symbolizing their strength and resilience in the face of adversity.

It’s important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to describe one’s experience. Some may feel comfortable using both terms at different stages of their healing journey. Others may reject these labels altogether, opting instead for words that feel more neutral or less charged. The key is that the survivor gets to decide.

This ability to define one’s own experience is a crucial part of the healing process. It allows survivors to reclaim their narrative, to tell their story in a way that feels true to them. In doing so, they are no longer defined by the trauma—they are defined by their courage, their resilience, and their ability to heal.
 

Words as Tools for Healing

As a trauma therapist, I am acutely aware of the role that language plays in the healing process. Words have the power to hurt, but they also have the power to heal. When we can speak our truth—when we can name the things that have hurt us—we are no longer bound by silence. We are no longer prisoners of our own fear.

For survivors of sexual assault, the journey to healing is long and complex. It requires bravery, patience, and a willingness to confront the most painful parts of their story. But through the act of naming, through the deliberate choice to speak the unspeakable, they can begin to reclaim what was taken from them. They can begin to heal.

Wherever you are in your healing journey, remember that the words you choose to describe your experience are yours and yours alone. Whether you identify as a victim, a survivor, or something else entirely, your words are powerful. They are a testament to your strength and resilience, and they are an essential part of your healing process.
 

Naming as a Path Forward

In trauma, silence can be suffocating, trapping survivors in a cycle of fear and shame. But the act of naming—of speaking the truth—is a radical act of defiance. It is a way of reclaiming power, rewriting the narrative, and beginning the process of healing. By confronting the words that once terrified us, we take the first steps toward freedom.

And in that freedom, we find not only healing but also the power to define our own story. We move forward not as victims of circumstance, but as individuals who have found strength in the most difficult of places. And that is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit.
 

Taking the Next Step on Your Path

The power of naming may be a newer concept and coming into this awareness may feel like an overwhelming task. It requires bravery and tenacity to touch the intense moments of grief that arise within the traumascape of this work. I offer up the action of taking one small step towards becoming familiar with the language you are using to define your experience. You may practice journaling as a way to name and explore the experience in a safe and private space. Start by writing down the words that feel most difficult to confront, like “rape” or “assault,” and reflect on the emotions they bring up. This helps begin the process of naming and reclaiming these words on your own terms. If journaling or writing down charged words feels too difficult to access at this time, you may connect to your feelings through the language of creative expression. Making marks with art materials, or connecting to creative expression through movement may be an entry point towards understanding how the language of your experience is connected with your emotions. You may look for art therapists and somatic practitioners to guide you through this process. You can find an accredited art therapist through https://arttherapy.org/art-therapist-locator/

Finding community and connecting with other survivors may be another way to talk through your story and offer a space to explore how others define their experiences. Joining a survivors support group may also provide space for you to feel heard and not alone in your experience. RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) offers resources, including a confidential hotline, and provides survivor stories that may resonate with your experience. You can visit their site here: RAINN for support and information.