The Boy Who Held My Cheek With His Hand

You didn't want anything serious 
just wanted someone 
to talk to, be with 

Your bed was so high 
off the ground 
I had to jump 
to get on 

You asked me what 

my goals were in life 

and I told you 

and you told me 

I was the first girl you met 

with real goals 

You were all muscle
from playing varsity rugby 

you were sweet and 

shy and gentle 

You took me on a tour 
of your campus 
and only listened to CDs 
in your car 
that had the yellow fuzzy dice 

You were falling 
for me. In between the conversations 
and sneaking me in

and out 

of your dorm 

On one of our, 
weekly trysts 
that led to sleepovers 
and breakfasts at a diner 

It was late, 

and it was just the two of us

in your room 
on your too-tall bed 
when you asked if you could hit me 

and when your hand 

that was double the size of mine 

found the softness of 

my right cheek 

Everything went quiet.
and my ears rang from pain 
and I couldn't hear and 

I must have looked shocked 

because you asked if I was 
still ok 

still ok 

in your room 
on your bed 
listening to the sounds 

of my body buzzing 

II. 

four years later 

I was in my car 

with this boy 

who would 
kiss the ground I walked on 
if that's what I wanted 

with golden curls 
and a gentle smile 

he was short 

and skinny 

and shy, 

but, are we really surprised? 

that in between kissing 

he thought i might like 

a hand hitting my face 

so hard 

you could trace the outline 

of his fingertips 

on my cheek